FWB vs Lova

My best friend gave me a $100 gift certificate to a beauty salon b/c i was complaining that my entire body was sore. Her ex bought it for her and she doesn't want anything to do with him so she gave it to me. I sent Al a text message saying that they have a "couples" message for $110 or $130 depending on what type it is. I sent a text saying, "don't get weird out" and this is what I got back, "stop prefacing!!! We're lovers - it'd be awesome!"

So now what's really crazy is we are now not FWB's but we are lovers? Is there a difference between the two? I mean in both, I don't have any rights to anything except to ask for sex.

Oh... let me post an e-mail that I wrote to him, his response, then my response, but like then he ignored my last e-mail.

ME:::::
Ok.. so I thought I'd drop you a quick line in what I expect from you. So that you aren't so potentially weirded out or maybe I'm just trying to prevent a freak out?
I want honesty. I want respect. I want to have fun with you. Not constantly, but i want to be able to keep doing things with you and trying random things and seeing random things. As in any friend, I want to be able to vent and not feel like a Todd. I want you to be able to tell me what i'm doing is prob not the best idea, but support me in what decision it is. Just normal things I expect and look for in a friend.
I will do the same for you.
I don't want more Al. i won't say sometime in the future that i won't, but meh, I'll cross that bridge when I get there and frankly, I have bigger things to worry about like trying to figure out what I want to do and when.
it is funny though, b/c I do have like 10 or so e-mails that I'll write and just save as a draft. But this one, I think I'll actually send. :-D
I just really don't want to lose your friendship.. seriously.. sex aside. I think that you are a great person and want to see where you are going to go and vice versa. I feel that I have some things to prove to some people and I do not want to be making $15/an hour when I'm 40. (which really isn't that far away...aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh).

What I really need right now is sleep.

Boo Ya!

HIM:::::::
Boo-fucking yah!

I am with you - I mean, I have internal dialogue with myself about settling down, no lie, and I like how we interact, but I also know I will hate myself if I settle down now. I may not want to settle down permanently, well, ever. But I enjoy our weekends and random days/times of just, well, almost marital bliss.

I appreciate your occasional reminders that you want nothing more from me than friendship. It helps me not freak - really.

I actually came to my email to tell you that my washcloth in the bathroom (the clean one) smells like your skin (I rubbed sweat from my face with it, slightly high, and BAM it smells like you).

You won't be making 15$/hr at 40, believe me. You -ARE- super smart; I don't think anyone ever told you of that potential in yourself and so it maybe freaks you out? I don't know - you are expert in your field, and that is something I can't even touch, knowing those sorts of details that you know about coverage and how the system works. It is an amazing skill, and you aren't at all compensated properly for it.

Anyway, the world and life come at you as they do, and you just take it as it comes - crossing bridges and all. Hehe, I write random drafts too, but mine are usually prefaced with "delete before sending" (just how I operate).

Uhm, you'll never lose my friendship. Seriously and honestly.

ME::::::
real quick like.. I do think it's funny that your idea of settling down is not fun.
I challenge that notion. I think "settling down" will be fun. I will settle down at some point, but I just think it's funny how our ideas are different on what it really means. I want to travel and I want to see places and do things and I don't want kids to hold me back or tie me down. I look at settling down as getting to chill and always be with your best friend and explore and do things with. I don't think it means that you have to be tied to someone, lock and key, never to go out with your friends or never to do stuff on your own. I think having friends and seeing them apart from your "mate" is key.


*** ok so for real... like I mean, read that..... Doesn't that seem like more then just a lover? Or is it just me? I'm kinda scared. I do love this man, but I love myself more and I am going to make changes in my life, for the better for me. Not for anyone else b/c it's clear to me that he has no intentions of changing his life, at all for me or bending at all for me.

I just need the strength to be w/o the awesome, spec-fucking-tacular sex that we do have. God.. the sweat, the sex, his eyes, his breath that he does when he's trying not to cum. It gets me wet just thinking about it. Seriously... Crazy.

-AM