The Scientist

I am just overly emotional right now. I'm listening to Pandora.com and they are playing "The Scientist" by Coldplay. I used to not be able to listen to this song w/o crying thinking of my ex. We should have made it. We should have been that couple that made it. We did not. We couldn't make it work. We just drifted apart and just could not figure out how to bring it back. We tried, but did we try hard enough? What if I had tried harder? What if I had insisted on more things? What if he had tried more? These lyrics are just painful to read/listen to. And honestly, I have tears in my eyes as I type this. If I could have, would I bring the ex back to the start? Would I try to start over again? If I knew where we went wrong would I go back and be able to change it? I just don't think I would. That relationship changed me for the better and helped me to grow.

I do think i was stunted though. I was not able to do the 'normal' things that 20 somethings do which includes dating people. And figuring out how relationships work.

The thing with Al is that I went from a boyfriend at 16 to the ex at 17 to Al at 30. So I never really dated and I havent' beeno ut there, single. I just don't know if that's me.

Anyway.. read the lyrics.


Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh let's go back to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Heads on the science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin',
At numbers and figures,
Pullin' the puzzles apart.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh on I rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' our tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.