Ok.. I am resisting the urge to write Al an e-mail b/c I am over it. I can't do it. I can't do it. The fucking thing with him and the Portland chick, where he just lied to me and was talking and saying "i love yous" to this chick has me always thinking/wondering what the fuck he's doing and why he did not answer an e-mail from earlier. Like hours earlier basically saying that I wanted him to call.
I am so over it. I can't trust this man to be in it for me. I can't trust him to have my good interests at heart. To actually think of me at all. He just thinks of himself. And you know what? That is totally fine. That is his right. I just need something different right now.
I think the best thing for me is to be by myself right now. To not have him around. To not see him.
I need someone in it for me and he's not. he is in it for himself. Again, that is fine, but that is not what I need right now.
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