Stuck

Myself, My friend here, Iris and my best friend, Tara are all stuck. We are all stuck in our lives in jobs that are awful in companies that could go belly up tomorrow. Iris and I work at the same place. Tara does office work and billing for a nurse staffing company. I could just cry. I have a degree from Penn State in Communications and it doesn't mean anything to anyone. I'm paying for this useless degree. Everyone I talk to is like, "oh but you have a degree. You will be fine."

Tell that to my ego and my self esteem when I was looking for another job and went on interview after interview including second interviews and not getting the jobs. It's really hard to go through that. I mean, I know I am smart and I catch on very easily. I can also find answers out on my own in a very creative manner and if then and only then, if I don't knwo the answer will I ask. I just want someone to give me a chance and there just doesn't seem anyone willing to do that.

It's so hard always thinking that you are second best or not even that, that you are just not good enough. It's hard to talk on one's ego and self esteem.

I know that there are so many of us out there. That work in a hell hole. That work in a cube farm. That have pictures of our reality around our cube walls to remind ourselves that we do have a life outside of work. Oh and those quotes that are to give us hope. Here are mine...

1) Say what you want and do what you feel because people that matter don't mind and people that mind don't matter.
2) Eventually all the pieces fall into place, but until then, laugh at the confusion, live for th moment and know that everything happens for a reason.
3) noboy can make you feel inferior without your permission.
4) Don't let someone be your priority while you remain their option.
5) great is the road i climb but the garland offered by an easier effort is not worth gathering
6) life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches... it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Yet they just add to the depressive nature that is this cube hell. I have other small tokens or reminders that this cube isn't that bad. I have turtles (fav animal) on top of my monitor. I have a couple of pictures that I took from a calendar about Islands on my walls to remind me where I want to be. I have a Penn State Pez dispensor. I have a picture of my grandparents when they were young and so much in love.

Coming into work everyday is torture. I get nothing from it but a paycheck. You want to know how much I make an hour? I don't even get paid $15/hr. I make just under that. My company has lost my "raise" and this will be the 3rd paycheck that it's not on or 6 weeks.

I hate this job. I hate who this job makes me become. Some sad, little pathetic, depressed creature.