Dream

Ok.. so normally I don't remember dreams or I just remember feelings associated with a dream. But I remember this one b/c my alarm woke me up to it, I hit snooze and went back to the dream. Kind of cool.

It's short... but I think the representation of the dream is seriously how I feel.

I was at the beach with a bunch of people. My sister was there and Al Gore was there and other people were there. Not sure who else, I just know that I knew a lot of the people. Basically, Al Gore went with a male friend (had a feeling I knew who this person was, but that I did not know him very well). Al ignored me like crazy. Wouldn't talk to me. Wouldn't sit by me. Would move if I came close to him. He would give me dirty looks. He was talking about me to the guy that he was with.

So that's short and sweet right? Finally. I think that the dream just illustrates how uncomfortable I am around Al. That I think, at a moments notice, he's just going to drop me. That he'll find someone cooler to hang out with and I'll be discarded by the wayside. I know where those feelings come from. He did it to me twice. Once with this 19 year old chick that he was dating and once with this chick from where he is from originally. He just, like, became all distant and there was this "shift." I could tell the first time that there was a shift, but I couldn't figure out what it was. Now I know what it is.

Since I never had to experience that with the ex, these feelings of someone finding someone better are so new to me that I don't know what to do with them. And what's worse, is that Al is just a FWB. We are not dating or anything. BUT.. BUT... when we were out with a friend this past weekend, he was pretty protective of me.

I do want to test it out though. I want to have him around when I go out to a bar and I'll just twitter around and talk to random people just to see how he reacts to it. He has no ties to me. I have no ties to him. We are free to do what we please. Although, there is this random bond of trust that we have that the other is to be honest and upfront with the other. If that makes sense.

Oh well.. just rambling at this point.