Stupid is as Stupid Does

So I know I am not one of those brilliant minds and anyone that knows me knows that I can not spell. I have always had issues with spelling. I want to spell things the way that they sound. I also do not know of all my multiplication tables. I am 30 and I have issues still with multiplying. I can remember in 3rd grade when we were learning them we would have to take this test every week until we scored a 100% on it. I could not pass it... EVER. So my teacher gave my mom flash cards for me and these cassette tapes that were songs of the multiplication tables. They were awful. Well, in school we had those desks that had the opening that faced your stomach.. if that makes sense. Well we had a small folder to put our own multiplication flash cards and I wrote all of the tables on the back of this folder. I remember vividly pulling it out of the desk and no one could see it, and using it to get that magically 100% to finally not have to take the test.

Several things. I obviously felt the stigma in 3rd grade of being stupid because everyone else was passing this test except me. (I honestly can't remember if anyone else needed to take that stupid test as long as I did). And the second thing was that I'm sure my parents and my teacher thought that the stupid tapes actually worked to get me to learn my multiplication tables. I wonder what my parents would think if I told them I cheated in 3rd grade?

Since cheating then got me such good results, I continued to cheat in school and get good grades. Ok, again, I really do not think that I am stupid. However, when I look back at all the cheating that I did and all the ways of working the system, I wonder how smart I really am.

This wondering is only now aided in the fact that I have way too smart friends now. Al Gore is like way to smart for his own god and B Boy is also super intelligent. The three of us played Scrabble on Friday and I had to ask how to spell "mantle" b/c I was not sure if it was "el" or "le." Do you know how completely stupid I felt?

I am dyslexic but I don't think that is a reason or an excuse to feel stupid. To me, that just means that the information that my brain receives is backwards and that's how I read some of it. So it's just up to me to tell my brain "knock it off. I know and you know that 3 looks like this and not like an E."

So I have feelings of not being on the same level with Al Gore. I don't know if it's something internal and lame on my girlish self doubting mind or if he really does feel that way. I honestly can't think of any time that he has made me feel stupid. He points out spelling and grammar mistakes, but it's not in an obnoxious way.

I will wring blog #2 about how I feel inadequate around Al Gore. Like I am just not good enough for him. Again, my girlish self doubting mind.